Friday night, October 2006
I get out at Centrum, pass all the commotion. The homeless are being fed by the crazy church people. A long cue against the mediocre graffiti wall, a dude on a soapbox yells bible quotes into a megaphone. The homeless aren't interested, they want whatever these guys are giving away for free and that's it. It could be a loaf of shit with a side order of boiled cabbage, they don't give a fuck. They'll eat that shit... Literally! There is another group of people surrounding some fire jugglers. I recognize one of them. It's Jedi, a kid from my capoeira class. He's swinging a pair of those fiery balls on chains. You know what I mean, you've seen them a thousand times. If not live then high on a you-tube binge. I run through the under-path towards Chmielna. Chmielna is where the cool kids hang out. That's Nicky and his club of Polski Millionaires. A new place just opened up and him and his friends are on the guest list.
They're all douche-bags. I don't know them yet but that's what my gut says. New places always invite the douche-bags to visit them first. Then the douche-bags tell other douche-bags and somewhere down the line I don't know how it happens, a place is considered good if a certain amount of douche-bags decide it's cool. It's been like that since the beginning of time.
Nicky's sporting a sports coat with a handkerchief in it. He's looking more like his father everyday. He introduces me to a group of similarly dressed boys and a chick that is absolutely stunning. She is trouble in a mini skirt and I'm lovin' it! She says hi I'm Marika. I bet she has no clue that her name means faggot in Spanish. I tell her I dropped out of Harvard to live on a boat in the Caribbean and I'm writing a book. A beer is put in front of me by a guy who's completely bewilderedby my bullshit story. I drink half the beer and say I'm going to the toilet but pretend that someonecalled me and walk out the restaurant without paying, pretending to be talking on the phone.
Konrad's already waiting at Jadlodalnia when I get there. A reggae club made to look like a Jamaican shanty town, kinda like Yam in Berlin. Gregory Issac's pumping out of the sound system. This is Warsaw, post communism, the capital of Poland, a proud member of the EU for practically five years. The open boarders embraced and shine their primary rays of multiculturalism. A group of African exchange students lean against the wall in a corner eyeballing the dozens of blond dread locked girls. I recognize one of them.
If I were black, especially one of twenty or so young blacks in Warsaw at that time, the last thing I would ever be involved in is drugs. With Mama patrz, Murzyn! being a perfectly acceptable children's expression, I would not be carrying bags of weed and amphetamine on my person at anytime. But for Shine, it was no big deal. He was one of those guys who's always smiling. Konrad put a crumpled up hundred in his left hand and Shine put two baggies of weed and amphetamine in his right hand. "Peace yo!" He winked at Konrad and walked back into the club. He looked like an extra from a Fifty-Cent video.
And then my cell really rang...
"Hello"
"Siema, what are you doing?" Giggling.
"Hello, who's this?"
"Czekaj, Cicho...Sorry, what are you doing, Mr Teacher, it's Kasia" More giggling.
"Hey, what a nice surprise!" I can hear the other girl in the background.
"Ania and I are going to Klubo Kawiarnia, come with us. Where are you?"
"At Jadjodalnia"
"Get off at Swietokrzyska and text me when you're there. I'll meet you in front of McDonald's".
"No worries, will do."
I looked at Konrad, he was ready to go anywhere but home. I flagged down a cabbie at the corner of Tamka and Miodowa and we rolled out. Konrad showed his score off to me and I looked at the shitty crime dimes.
"What do you expect, it's Poland! but the chrystal is unlike anything you've ever had. Trust me"
"Oh I trust you a'right!"
"You know the funny thing is, I heard that dude is like the son of the Nigerian Ambassador or something"
"Seriously?"
"Whatever, for a black dude, doing this, in Warsaw! Guy's gotta have some kind of Get Outta Jail Free card."
I text Kasia to tell her that we'll be right there and that she should wait inside. We pull up and Nick is already standing out front smoking a cigarette and talking to Bart, a tall kid from his University.
"YOWHATUPBROOOOOOOSSSS!" screams Nick seeing us walking towards him. We hug and I tell him I'm sorry for having to bounce unexpectedly. I say what's up to Bart. He extends his hand like a proper good lad. I don't get these kids here. There so horribly well mannered. I don't know the guy but he feels the need to be awfully chummy so I let it go. The que is super long, but Nick is the King of the night and we walk directly to the bouncer, an off duty cop. Nick feeds him some bullshit about who we are and the gullible fuck just goes with it. We pay 20 Zees (zloty) to the cutie in the cash window and we're in. The walls are painted red with socialistic images, kinda Commie Art Deco. A staircase leads down to the basement which is the main area. Damn, I think to myself. Around 60 years ago people were hiding out here and praying for their lives. Now I'm about to get drunk and high right here where most likely a bunch of Jews were slaughtered and stock piled as high as the Palace of Culture.
We pass some people. Nick says hi to another chick calling herself Martini. Where the fuck do they come up with these names? Do they shake a bag of Scrabble pieces and hope for the best? Konrad says he has to find Magda and I say we need to go to the bathroom first. Nick motions to us to follow him but Konrad and I ignore him and head for the WC sign.
The club is full and the bathroom is all the way on the other side of the dance floor, next to the DJ booth. Convenient for the DJ, I guess. We work our way across the congested dance floor till we make it to the door. There's a couch in the bathroom with a couple intensively dry fucking. The girl is a pretty blond in her early 20's. He's got a belly and intensively receding in his early 20's. Who the fuck get's into a club with bright white and red Adidas trainers? Konrad stops to watch them, and I look for an empty stall. "Stop being a fucking pervert and come here!" The lock is broken so one of us has to hold the door closed. Konrad retrieves the bag of powder out of his sock and fumbles to untie the knot. I put my beer on the back part of the toilette. It's a modern one, not like the one at Konrad and Nick's apartment. Konrad carefully use his house key to scoop bumps up each nostril. I read an article on reddit once how AIDS and HEP C can be transferred from sharing straws or rolled bills. The article mentioned tiny blood vessels that burst as the corrosive powder tears through your nostril creating open wounds and a chance of contracting diseases. Konrad scooped up a bump for me and I told him to use a different key.
"Why"
"Just do it" He makes a face and puts that one up his nose too. Using the front door key he scoops a fat bump for me and feeds my nose as I hold the door shut. We vacate the stall and I notice the couch is empty. In the stall across from ours we hear the sweet slurpy sound of an administered blow job. Konrad tries to look through the cracks but I pull him away and we exit the bathroom. The club looks totally different now. The lights are more intense, the music is more intense, the.... shit, that is some seriously strong meth!
A house anthem kicks in and this time we dance our way to the front of the room, right beneath the DJ booth. Like in the old days.
"YO, DID YOU KNOW THAT COCAINE IS PRESENT ON 90 PERCENT OF PAPER MONEY IN THE UNITED STATES?""WHAT?"
"DID YOU KNOW -"
"DUDE, I CAN'T HEAR YOU - I LOVE THIS FUCKING TRACK!!!!!"
My heart starts to pound. The dull marijuana numbness shifts into clarity, awareness, unity. All my limbs, all my joints have one purpose, that purpose is to dance. My mind races a thought a second - I'm whole again - I reach out. There's that tall chummy kid from before doing the stationary march dance. He's trying. He's trying hard to impress, to be cool to be sought after, liked, loved and laid. Because that's why we're all here right?
But he looks ridiculous. I give him a bro hug and now he feel less retarded, confidence sparked a light in his eyes and his march dance picks up soul. There, he's my friend now, the rhythm has spoken. He points towards the bar, like he wants us to get a drink. Konrad's about to sexually assault a woman twice his size so I urge him to come with and head for the bar. We pass Nick on a brass stripper pole molesting Marika and Martini. Marching boy, who's name is really Bart, but I forgot and Marching Boy is so much more suiting, orders 3 shots. Konrad asks for 3 beers, has to do it three times, cause the music in this club just pumps and pumps. I down my vodka like it's nothing and chase it with the beer. My friends do the same and a new wave of euphoria takes over. We stand leaning against the bar absorbing the eye candy.
The Polish girl is the most sexually attractive woman of all European women. You can have your Russians, your Czechs and Slovenians all your former Soviet Union break offs. There is no comparison when it comes to those eyes, looking at you, piercing through you, as you pound her in a bathroom stall, convinced that you're the first one she's ever done that with. That is their power, like a venomous purity. So on that note, I start looking around for my two students, cause I have a feeling that one of them is going to get fucked tonight.
If I were black, especially one of twenty or so young blacks in Warsaw at that time, the last thing I would ever be involved in is drugs. With Mama patrz, Murzyn! being a perfectly acceptable children's expression, I would not be carrying bags of weed and amphetamine on my person at anytime. But for Shine, it was no big deal. He was one of those guys who's always smiling. Konrad put a crumpled up hundred in his left hand and Shine put two baggies of weed and amphetamine in his right hand. "Peace yo!" He winked at Konrad and walked back into the club. He looked like an extra from a Fifty-Cent video.
And then my cell really rang...
"Hello"
"Siema, what are you doing?" Giggling.
"Hello, who's this?"
"Czekaj, Cicho...Sorry, what are you doing, Mr Teacher, it's Kasia" More giggling.
"Hey, what a nice surprise!" I can hear the other girl in the background.
"Ania and I are going to Klubo Kawiarnia, come with us. Where are you?"
"At Jadjodalnia"
"Get off at Swietokrzyska and text me when you're there. I'll meet you in front of McDonald's".
"No worries, will do."
I looked at Konrad, he was ready to go anywhere but home. I flagged down a cabbie at the corner of Tamka and Miodowa and we rolled out. Konrad showed his score off to me and I looked at the shitty crime dimes.
"What do you expect, it's Poland! but the chrystal is unlike anything you've ever had. Trust me"
"Oh I trust you a'right!"
"You know the funny thing is, I heard that dude is like the son of the Nigerian Ambassador or something"
"Seriously?"
"Whatever, for a black dude, doing this, in Warsaw! Guy's gotta have some kind of Get Outta Jail Free card."
I text Kasia to tell her that we'll be right there and that she should wait inside. We pull up and Nick is already standing out front smoking a cigarette and talking to Bart, a tall kid from his University.
"YOWHATUPBROOOOOOOSSSS!" screams Nick seeing us walking towards him. We hug and I tell him I'm sorry for having to bounce unexpectedly. I say what's up to Bart. He extends his hand like a proper good lad. I don't get these kids here. There so horribly well mannered. I don't know the guy but he feels the need to be awfully chummy so I let it go. The que is super long, but Nick is the King of the night and we walk directly to the bouncer, an off duty cop. Nick feeds him some bullshit about who we are and the gullible fuck just goes with it. We pay 20 Zees (zloty) to the cutie in the cash window and we're in. The walls are painted red with socialistic images, kinda Commie Art Deco. A staircase leads down to the basement which is the main area. Damn, I think to myself. Around 60 years ago people were hiding out here and praying for their lives. Now I'm about to get drunk and high right here where most likely a bunch of Jews were slaughtered and stock piled as high as the Palace of Culture.
We pass some people. Nick says hi to another chick calling herself Martini. Where the fuck do they come up with these names? Do they shake a bag of Scrabble pieces and hope for the best? Konrad says he has to find Magda and I say we need to go to the bathroom first. Nick motions to us to follow him but Konrad and I ignore him and head for the WC sign.
The club is full and the bathroom is all the way on the other side of the dance floor, next to the DJ booth. Convenient for the DJ, I guess. We work our way across the congested dance floor till we make it to the door. There's a couch in the bathroom with a couple intensively dry fucking. The girl is a pretty blond in her early 20's. He's got a belly and intensively receding in his early 20's. Who the fuck get's into a club with bright white and red Adidas trainers? Konrad stops to watch them, and I look for an empty stall. "Stop being a fucking pervert and come here!" The lock is broken so one of us has to hold the door closed. Konrad retrieves the bag of powder out of his sock and fumbles to untie the knot. I put my beer on the back part of the toilette. It's a modern one, not like the one at Konrad and Nick's apartment. Konrad carefully use his house key to scoop bumps up each nostril. I read an article on reddit once how AIDS and HEP C can be transferred from sharing straws or rolled bills. The article mentioned tiny blood vessels that burst as the corrosive powder tears through your nostril creating open wounds and a chance of contracting diseases. Konrad scooped up a bump for me and I told him to use a different key.
"Why"
"Just do it" He makes a face and puts that one up his nose too. Using the front door key he scoops a fat bump for me and feeds my nose as I hold the door shut. We vacate the stall and I notice the couch is empty. In the stall across from ours we hear the sweet slurpy sound of an administered blow job. Konrad tries to look through the cracks but I pull him away and we exit the bathroom. The club looks totally different now. The lights are more intense, the music is more intense, the.... shit, that is some seriously strong meth!
A house anthem kicks in and this time we dance our way to the front of the room, right beneath the DJ booth. Like in the old days.
"YO, DID YOU KNOW THAT COCAINE IS PRESENT ON 90 PERCENT OF PAPER MONEY IN THE UNITED STATES?""WHAT?"
"DID YOU KNOW -"
"DUDE, I CAN'T HEAR YOU - I LOVE THIS FUCKING TRACK!!!!!"
My heart starts to pound. The dull marijuana numbness shifts into clarity, awareness, unity. All my limbs, all my joints have one purpose, that purpose is to dance. My mind races a thought a second - I'm whole again - I reach out. There's that tall chummy kid from before doing the stationary march dance. He's trying. He's trying hard to impress, to be cool to be sought after, liked, loved and laid. Because that's why we're all here right?
But he looks ridiculous. I give him a bro hug and now he feel less retarded, confidence sparked a light in his eyes and his march dance picks up soul. There, he's my friend now, the rhythm has spoken. He points towards the bar, like he wants us to get a drink. Konrad's about to sexually assault a woman twice his size so I urge him to come with and head for the bar. We pass Nick on a brass stripper pole molesting Marika and Martini. Marching boy, who's name is really Bart, but I forgot and Marching Boy is so much more suiting, orders 3 shots. Konrad asks for 3 beers, has to do it three times, cause the music in this club just pumps and pumps. I down my vodka like it's nothing and chase it with the beer. My friends do the same and a new wave of euphoria takes over. We stand leaning against the bar absorbing the eye candy.
The Polish girl is the most sexually attractive woman of all European women. You can have your Russians, your Czechs and Slovenians all your former Soviet Union break offs. There is no comparison when it comes to those eyes, looking at you, piercing through you, as you pound her in a bathroom stall, convinced that you're the first one she's ever done that with. That is their power, like a venomous purity. So on that note, I start looking around for my two students, cause I have a feeling that one of them is going to get fucked tonight.
Konrad rests his hand on my shoulder and leans in to my ear. He says ready for another bump with a question mark at the end. I say yes with a double exclamation mark. As we shift through the crowded room I see my student swaying with her eyes closed. Forgetting about Konrad, the bathroom, the jib, I flow like a liquid towards her. My hands glissade around her narrow waste and my body connects with hers, she looks over to see who it is, our eyes lock and and at that moment we're one. Her arms float up and wrap around my neck. She leans back against me, her ass gently sways against my inguen. Hard Rock. I'm ready for more. My head lowers to her neck, it connects with my lips. She leans her head to the other side inviting me in. Her body pressed against me and her head now facing me, this is it, we kiss and she turns around full tilt. My hands race from her face, down to her ass, back again and reverse absorbing her body like water. I pull away for a second and take her little hand. We float our way through the crowd, near the DJ, to the bathroom. As I'm about to open the door she lets go of my hand. I look at her inviting and she' just like.... Co ty kurwa koles se wyobrazasz ze ja sie z toba bede bzykala w kiblu w Klubo??? Pojebalo Cie czy co? Wez sie ogarnij! Takie akcje mozesz sobie w tej twojej Kanaadzie odpierdalac.
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