To whom it may concern,
It would be an honor for me to have the opportunity of joining the team at “Exploited Deleted” Inc. I have read all about your company and arrived at the conclusion that my skills and know how could make me a competitive candidate for the entry level position.
In your online job- post you’ve stated that the starting salary is 1,500 Euro per month. This is very important to me since my last profession was on an under-the-table basis, and getting paid at the end of the week was like waiting for lotto numbers. I have worked out that if I get paid by direct deposit, I’ll be able to trade in my pre-paid mobile phone, which is burning a hole in my wallet, and get a semi decent mobile plan for around 25EU per month, with unlimited internet access, so I can Skype with my friends in Canada while on the S Bahn heading to work.
In the near future if I pass the 6 month probationary period, I’d like to acquire my own flat. Since all realtors require a proof of employment on non probationary terms, you can be sure that I will be right there behind my desk, at least five minutes to the hour, every morning, with a big smile on my face. I did also read in the online employee manual, conveniently located on the company website, that after 1 year of employment, I will be eligible for the ‘Employee Health Benefit Package’. That is also coincidentally applicable to me since I’m approaching my mid thirties, and may in the next five years require a colonoscopy, or in the near future, psychological guidance. Both are quite high on the financial scale, so it would be in my best interest if the company health plan could pick up the tab.
Your posting also mentioned that you are looking for committed team players. I am a graduate of a competitive Performing Arts College, where every year an estimated one thousand hopefuls audition for a spot among thirty. Hope fools, as we alumni like to call them, because the skills we obtain hardy compensate for the tuition we must pay, or the time must we spend to teach ourselves a new career. Taking into consideration my current outstanding student loan, if hired, I will undoubtedly be the best team player your company has ever seen.
I hope that in these few paragraphs I was able to present my superlative yet humble qualities. My CV is available upon request in both doc, and pdf, and I am looking forward to be invited to your upcoming interview sessions. If you found this motivational letter demotivating, feel free not respond with a job offer. Some spare change or a Dunkin Donuts coupon would be just as rewarding.
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